Four Steps To Know A Person Completely

In our life, what is more important than knowing people who matters to us most? The number of such people may not be very high, yet they influence our lives almost completely. If we can know their minds and thoughts better, there is no doubt that we not only make our life better but also the life of the people around us. It is no secret that we can get what we want in life only by the proper understanding of the people. In our personal life, we can bring peace and happiness only by understanding our loved ones. In our professional life we can motivate our colleagues and team to achieve the goal of the organizations only by properly understanding them.

Yet understanding people is the most difficult knowledge to learn in real life. This knowledge is not taught in any school or college. Our understanding of man based on the bookish knowledge derived from the books of psychology, management, religion, culture etc. fails to help us in understanding the real life people. Which theory is to be applied on a person, when every person is different and every theory is different? Theories are much easier to use in material domain as every atom, every molecule and every material behaves in identical manner. How to deal with man, when every one is different and no two people are similar?

It gives us no respite, to know a person merely in terms of probability or statistic when the person is too important to you. You can't be satisfied to know that if you scold your children, he is 56% likely to perform poorly in exam. However, if you do not scold the child, his chances of poor performance are increased to 60%. These researches can't help you in exercising of either option. You are scared of using either option as you want your child to improve. You do not have thousands of children that you can be satisfied with a statistical probability. After all in the first case the chances of failure is 44% while in the second case, it is 40%. You have only one child and you want him to improve. You want the right solution and not a random solution.

The solution of all our problems lies in knowing the person as accurately as one knows himself. If that can be possible then you can be almost absolutely sure that you will get the desired result. Are there really such methods of knowing a person so completely?

One Person Four Personalities

We all bear many hats in our life. We are the simplest creature on earth yet the most complex human being. Who are we?

We are a different person at our home. We are so simple at our home that even our child knows us well. We play with them, enjoy the simple games and become a child itself. Our education, profession and knowledge do not seem to influence our dear ones like our children, souse, parents and even our dogs. They all seems to know us very well.

We have a different personality with our friends. They too know us well. We all know the mind of all our friends. The older is the friend; the better is our understanding of him. Friends not only know our personality but they become the integral part of our personality. After all it is wisely said "a man is known by the company he keeps". Thus, your friends are often a close refection of your personality.

Yet we are quite different on our job. The same person becomes different when performing his job. We are completely different person as a cop, philosopher, teacher, politician or a sweeper. Our actions and thoughts are shaped according to our job. There is a great similarity in all people of similar profession. All cops have similar traits, so have the traits of all teachers.

Finally, we are part of the society, nation and the world. We are affected by every thing that is happening anywhere in the society or the world. A man of India is different than a man of China or USA. A man of twenty first century is different than a man of tenth century.

However, man in not merely only a body i.e. the material entity but he also has mind, soul and spirit. The complete personality of the person can be known only by knowing his body, mind, soul and spirit. Once you know all four, there is nothing left in the person to be known as he has become your extended Self by the presence of the common spirit. The methods to know these four aspects of man have requires following four steps.

The Physical Self

The body of the person is the most obvious representation of his or her personality. Body represents the physical self of the person as an animal and represents the basic instincts or the natural instinct of the person. The first distinction in the body emerges from the sex of the person. The bodies of the males and females are as different as their basic instinct. The basic instincts of males and females are quite similar across the world. So if you know one, you know all. The second important thing which the body represents is the raw passion or sensual desire of the person. A man with uncontrolled passion would have uncontrolled, fat and disproportionate body while a man who has disciplined and controlled his desire would have a fitter and proportionate body. The movement of the body and limbs too represents the natural personality of the person. This is often called as "body language". A restless person must have a restless body and peaceful person would have a peaceful body.

The Mental Self

The mind of the person is the most important attribute in his professional life. The mind of the person is shaped on the basis of the education and experience of the person in his lifetime. One can know the mind of the person from his educational qualification, experience and profession experience as all goes into shaping the mind of the person. The mind of the person is the source of the reason and logic used by the person to interact with the world. One can also understand the mind of the person in the course of discussion and communication i.e. the way he answers or responds to your logic and reasons.

The Intellectual Self

The body, senses and mind apparently seem to be independent from each other. It is also possible to measure these attributes of human personality by suitable instruments and tests. Yet they are all controlled by the Soul of the person which represents the intelligence of the person.

The mind and body of the person are changing every moment. A person is happy in one movement but get worried on the very next moment. A person may be active in one moment but may become inactive due to illness or hunger or tiredness few moments later. Thus our assessment of the person may be totally wrong if it is based merely on the knowledge of physical and mental self. We have to know the force behind the body and mind which does not change.

The senses are superior to the body. Above the senses is the mind, above the mind is the soul (individual intelligence) and above the soul is God (Universal Intelligence).

Knowing the intelligence self of the person is, therefore, extremely important as it changes only little over a lifetime. Just like one can know the tree from its fruits, same is true for intelligence which controls the body and the mind. If a person speaks evil for everybody, it shows that his core (intelligence) too is evil. Jesus said, (Mathew 7: 15-20)

The real nature of the person is intelligence of the person. Body and mind are merely the tools in the control of the intelligence self. Just like a fire can be used to cook food or burn people, so does the body and mind can be used for good or bad purposes by the intelligence? The intelligence of the person has to be understood by the synthesis of the diverse traits and actions of the personality of the person using our own intelligence and reasoning.

The Spiritual Self

It is believed in scriptures and philosophies that every living being has the spark of the God or Spirit. No person is, therefore, independent from other beings as everyone is connected by the common thread of this spirit. It is due to the common spirit that we cry when we see people in misery and fell happy when give happiness to others. It is due to the spiritual self, that we connect ourselves with the rest of the world and enjoys or feel pain in our life.

The spiritual self of the person is the non-material aspect of the human personality. It is best known to our loved ones, when there are no material rewards or punishment for our actions. In your home, you get no reward or punishment in being nice or nasty to your children, your wife or your parents and elders. Yet the expression of our spiritual self is the sour of all our happiness and pain.

A spiritual person, therefore, highly value the nonmaterial realities of life and seek happiness in selfless activities. We are all spiritual to some extent else we can never get happiness in our life. If you donate one billion dollars to your computer or a lathe machine, it can never feel any happiness. Only a man can feel happiness even by wealth since he can use the wealth for distribution to others selflessly which , makes him and others happy.

The understanding of the spiritual self is purely based on intuition and requires no knowledge or reasoning. It is similar to the understanding that a child or a dog has to their parents or their master. The sign of spirituality is the peace, love and happiness. So when you meet a person and feel more peaceful, loving and happy, the person must be highly spiritual. You can therefore expect help and compassion from such person. If the feeling is otherwise, you have met a materialistic and devilish person, who can only seek material favour from you or seek pleasure in your pain.

The Complete Knowledge of A Person

Only by knowing all four aspect of a person which represents the body, mind, soul and spirit of the person, you can understand the real person. Such understanding of a person requires not only the logical mind but also the use of your basic instinct , intelligence , intuition and experience. You can then know the complete person using your intuition and know the real thoughts of the person. Once you have understood the thoughts and soul of a person, what is left unknown about the person.

5 Ways on How to Become Successful in Your Life

1. You need to relax

Relaxation exercises range from traditional forms of meditation that have their roots in Eastern cultures to modern systematic relaxation exercises that have been scientifically developed and are more suited to the western way of thinking. They help to reduce the intensity of stress symptoms (headaches, migraines, anxiety, insomnia, etc.) but also in preparing the individual to recognize the symptoms from their initial stages. Their common characteristic is that the person with constant practice can acquire the habit of thinking and acting more calm and functional. Acting more calm can help you think and concentrate better and will help you to become successful in your life.

2. You need to use your time efficiently

People complain that they do not have enough time available. But more often the problem is not the time in quantity but in the way we manage our time. Important elements in proper time management are the do-to lists, prioritization, and the ability to focus on one task at a time, the ability to recognise and set targets. With proper time management you will have more time to think and plan how to become successful in your life.

3. Demanding Behaviour

Demand behaviour techniques aim to strengthen the capacity of individuals to defend their rights without denying the rights of others and without being aggressive or insulting. In this way you can face the appropriate interpersonal relations and also to learn how to say "no" where appropriate and when necessary, to express your feelings rather than been passive and inactive. Learning to sometimes say no will help you decide what is best for you and you can change your life by being selective on what to do and on what no to do.

4. You need to learn how to solve your problems

Being able to solve your problems is a major step on becoming successful. Problems are present in daily life and if you find ways to solve them then this will really change your life. Some techniques for problem management are:

1) Definition of the problem 
2) Alternative solutions to the problem 
3) Choosing the right strategy to address the problem 
4) Proper design of the selected strategy (where, when, how) 
5) Implementation of the solution 
6) Evaluation

The problems never stop! The basic rule is this: instead of facing problems «automatically» with our usual style and approach, to begin to look reasonable and separately each problem, create alternatives and choose the best solution, according to the importance of the problem and our experience.

5. You need to be dynamic

In order to have a positive and dynamic presence you need to be able to frankly and directly express your feelings and ideas, both negative and positive. To do this you must create a good contact with yourself and with your feelings!

In conclusion, it must be noted that there are a lot of ways on how to become successful. This tips only server as a quick guide to help you get started. The whole process is difficult and sometimes it takes time. This is not always something bad. Instead, it helps us be alert, can warn us against possible dangers and helps us prepare better.

The Top 10 Ways to Start Living Your Life

Life either happens to us, or we take hold of life and live it. Here are 10 Ways to get a life and start living it.

1. Give yourself permission to claim your life. That’s right — permission. You’re the only one who can decide you are in charge of your life. Even though it feels like you’re not supposed to do so, turn off the internal editors, the old tape recordings, the “shoulds, have tos, and musts”, and the rules that didn’t come from you.
2. Define what living means to you. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Just picture yourself at the end of your life looking back. What words would you want to describe how you lived your life and who you are as a person?
3. Stop living in the future. Every time you think “someday” or “when I have time I will,” stop. Ask yourself, “Why not now?” Think about this sentence, “I always wanted to, but never did.” Start doing the things you always planned to do. Choose your life every morning. Plan one thing you will do that day to feel alive.
4. Surround yourself with people who enjoy living. They’ve obviously discovered how to have a life and live it. Why not hang with the pros?
5. Lay down your pain and your anger. Carrying them around makes living harder and less fun. It doesn’t bring anything, and it steals a lot.
6. Let the losers win. Don’t argue about things that you don’t care about. Unless there’s some real threat, let the folks who have something to prove, prove what they need to. Why waste your living time trying to fix what’s wrong with them?
7. Create energy. Jump to forgiveness and love, then figure things out.Most conclusions we jump to are not only wrong, they’re negative. Negative conclusions lead us to prepare a defense. Being on the defensive isn’t living. It’s hiding from life.
8. Learn the physical symptoms of when your head and heart become disconnected. We know when we’re having a knee jerk reaction, when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves, and when we’re being blind to people’s feelings. We can remember how it felt physically while we were behaving badly. Get to know those symptoms, and you can stop the behavior. Living life will feel a whole lot safer because you won’t be in danger of shooting yourself in the foot.
9. Take small risks that push your boundaries in every way. The joy of life is packed in learning that matches our skill set. When we stretch just a bit intellectually, physically, emotionally, we grow. Living is growing. Even your cells know that.
10. Value and protect the people and the places you care about. A job isn’t a life. It’s just a part of one. Let the people you care about come first, and let everyone know that you do. Re-read numbers 1 and2

    10 Powerful Success Strategies

    

     If you’re serious about creating lasting and significant change in your world – as opposed to merely thinking and talking about it for another year – there are a few things you might want to do in order to help make those intentions a reality…

    1. Know what success is. If you don’t know what success is (for you), how can you possibly create it? Success is different things for different people and one person’s success (a pregnancy for example) might be another person’s catastrophe. That’s because success (or failure) is not so much about the situation, circumstance, event or outcome as it is about what that “thing” means to the person in the middle of it. In order to create success, you must first define it – and far too many people haven’t. Be very clear about what you want and don’t want for your life. Clarity produces excitement. Excitement produces momentum. Momentum produces behavioural change. Behavioural change produces different results and eventually, the internal vision becomes an external reality. Giddy-up.
    2. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Some people will live a life of second-best, of compromise and of under-achievement simply because they are (1) controlled by fear (2) always looking for the magic pill or shortcut and (3) not prepared to do the tough stuff. People who always take the easy option are destined for mediocrity. At best. Constantly avoiding the discomfort means constantly avoiding the lessons and the personal growth. Pain is a great teacher. Not always what we want, but sometimes what we need.
    3. Seek to be righteous, not right. The need to be “right” speaks of arrogance, insecurity, ego and stupidity. It’s also synonymous with failure. The person who constantly needs to be right will miss out on much of what life has to teach him and alienate himself from others. Arrogance repels, humility attracts.
    4. Seek respect, not popularity. It’s been said that our nature is “who we are” and our reputation is who people think we are. When the two are synonymous, we’re usually on the right path.
    5. Embrace mess. To embrace mess is to embrace life because life is messy, unpredictable, unfair, uncertain, lumpy and bumpy. So get used to a little chaos. Embrace it even. While others succumb to the messiness and unpredictability of the human experience, make a conscious choice to be the calm in the chaos.
    6. Don’t become your parents. Or your boss. Or anyone but you. The enormity of conformity is a problem for the wanna-be success story. Sure, your parents are great and by all means respect them, love them and learn from them, but please don’t become them; that’s just plain ugly and a little bit tragic. Listen to, and learn from other people, but think, act and decide for yourself. And no, you don’t need anyone’s approval or permission; you’re big now. It’s okay.
    7. Use more of what you already have. Imagine what you could achieve if you took all the knowledge, intelligence, opportunities, time, skill and talent that you currently have and absolutely milked it. What if you already have more than enough talent to become wildly successful? Well, you do. There go the excuses. And that voice that’s telling (some of) you right now that you don’t have what it takes to become successful, that’s called fear. Not logic, fear. Not reality, fear. Unless of course, you allow that to become your reality. Be mindful that the voice in your head (the very loud, annoying and persistent one) is rarely a reflection of your potential and mostly a manifestation of your insecurity.  And no, you’re not alone in your self-doubt; it’s a universal condition. Many people fail, not because they don’t have what it takes, but because they don’t use what they already have. Successful people typically don’t have more innate potential, luck, time or opportunity than the next person, but they consistently find a way to use much more of what they have at their disposal. While the majority are rationalising their lack of decision making and action taking, these guys are finding a way to get the job done. The question is not “how much ability do you have, but how much will you use?”.
    8. Be an innovator, not an imitator. Not too many sheep succeed. Baaah. Sometimes it’s a good idea to build your own team rather than join someone else’s. Don’t let your fear stand in the way of your potential to create, innovate or lead. When I set up Australia’s first commercial personal training centre, most people told me it wouldn’t work. Glad I didn’t listen.
    9. Do what most won’t. If you want to achieve what most people won’t (happiness, joy, calm, wealth, optimal health, balance) then don’t do what they do. If you want to be like the majority, then do what they do. Producing different results comes from doing different things. Simple really. And effective. Most people won’t persevere, won’t finish what they start, won’t find the good, won’t do what it takes, won’t question their long-held beliefs, won’t be solution-focused, won’t do what scares them and won’t “be the change” they want to see in their world. Choose to be different.
    10. Be like water. Powerful. Gentle. Adaptable. Ever-changing. Being static in a dynamic world – like the one you and I inhabit – is a recipe for disaster. If you can’t adapt, you can’t succeed. Our practical, three dimensional reality, and everything in it, is in a constant state of transition, while some of us are in a constant state of “same”. Statues don’t succeed, they just get crapped on.

How to Convince Someone to Believe in Something?

Psychology of Convincing Someone

Convincing someone to believe you is all about convincing him to either accept a new belief or update his knowledge or beliefs about an existing idea.

Not all people will accept your ideas from the first attempt but the good news is that there are rules that if used correctly will increase your chance of convincing other people to believe you.

If the person you want to convince has prior knowledge or experience about what you're trying to convince him with then your primary goal is to shake his beliefs and to proof him wrong and after that you can present him with your own idea.

If the person does not have a previous idea about that thing then you can just start by telling him about your beliefs right away.

Why Can't I Convince Other People?

Before learning how to convince someone to believe in something or to accept your idea you should first know the reasons that generally make people oppose ideas and new beliefs:

• Belief Conflict: If one of your friends told you that the earth does not orbit the sun, what will be your response? Of course you wont believe him since you already know that all nine planets orbit the sun. You already have an opposing belief and that's why you didn't believe him. So the first obstacle facing your friend when trying to convince you to believe in his idea is your belief system.
• Knowledge: The greater a person’s knowledge about something the harder will it be to convince him. What do you think will happen if you tried to convince an astronomy professor that the sun is only 1000 km away from the earth? He'll never believe you because he already has deep knowledge about the subject and he might have scientific proves that go against your claims. Thus the second obstacle to convincing people is their level of knowledge about the topic. As you may have already noticed, the first two obstacles (old beliefs and knowledge) can be grouped under one thing which is having another belief that contradicts with yours.
• Skeptics: Skeptics are people who doubt almost everything and everyone. They never accept anything unless they are truly sure of it. If you are dealing with a skeptic person then this will add further difficulties.

How to Convince Someone to Believe in Something

Based on the previous obstacles we can come up with counter techniques that can highly increase the probability of your success when trying to convince someone. Those techniques are:

• Shaking His Existing Belief: The more assertive and confident you sound while talking about your belief the higher will be the possibility of shaking the other person's belief about that thing (provided that he does not have much knowledge about it). Speak in a confident way, useconfident body language gestures, use a confident tone of voice and you will find that the other person is starting to doubt his own beliefs.
• Undermine His Knowledge Base: Even if you were confident while talking the other person's knowledge base could act as a barrier to convincing him with your ideas. That’s why convincing a person that you know more than him is more important than trying to convince him of your idea itself. If you managed to convince the person that you know more than he him then you will become a trusted source for his subconscious mind and it will become much easier for you to program him (see subconscious mind programming for more information on this). You don’t need magic to do this, you just have to be ready with proper documentation and solid facts. The more clear your evidence is and the more you will be able to undermine his own knowledge base the easier will it become to convince him with your point of view.(See the power of knowledge in negotiations).
• Provide Proofs for the Skeptic: Contrary to common beliefs skeptics can believe in anything provided that you give them clear evidence to support your idea. The more clues you can provide to strengthen your argument the less skeptic the other person will be and the easier will it be to convince him.
• Program His Subconscious Mind: The subconscious mind can be programmed by repetition: the more a statement is repeated the more it can shake an already existing belief provided that 1) either the conscious mind is absent or 2) that the source of the idea is trusted. For more information on programming someone’s mind check out this guide. You can even program someone to fall in love with you, in my book, how to make someone fall in love with you i pointed out how can repeating certain words or phrases result in making someone fall in love with you. Its no magic, beliefs are formed by repetition and if you managed to repeat a certain belief enough times, the other person may actually start to believe in it too
• Believing in Your Idea: Did you notice that when a person strongly believes in an idea he usually manages to convince others to believe in it too? The entrepreneur who always believed that his idea is worthy usually succeeds in building a very good business. The more you believe in your idea the more confident and convincing you will sound when talking about it.
• Repetition and the Law of Attraction: You can program someone’s mind over time. Each time you meet him talk a little about your idea then leave him. The phrases you have said to him will not be removed by his subconscious mind but instead they will be stored until something reinforces them. For example, if you kept telling your friend that he is a poor driver, he may not believe you until he happens to have an accident. When this happens he will remember all of your comments about his driving skills and will be convinced that you are right
• .
•  How to convince people by using the law of attraction??

every critical comment gets stored in your subconscious mind

Every scene that you see, every word that you hear and everything that happens around you is not discarded but instead it gets stored in your subconscious mind and this includes the critical comments you do received throughout your life.

How to use this information to convince someone

You can use this information to convince someone to believe in your ideas, dream or in yourself. All you will have to do is saw your comment in an assertive way and in a situation where the person is highly receptive.

Although this comment may do nothing at the current moment it will get stored in his subconscious mind where it will be recalled later.

Later on, in a different place and in a different situation say a different comment that is strengthens the same idea you want to convince him with. It will even be better if you can get someone else to do it for you.

By saying different comments in different situations they will get accumulated in the subconscious mind of that person. These comments will slowly erode his own opposing beliefs about that thing. yes it may not convince him at the moment but it will make him much more ready to get convinced.

Any small event could finish the task

If that person you were trying to convince was alone and if any small event happened to him that put additional weight to your idea then his beliefs may change and he may be convinced about your idea without your intervention.

And even if he didn’t believe in your idea still you reduced his strong resistance and made him reach a sate of confusion where he is much more receptive to your future suggestions.

final words about convincing someone

If you couldn’t convince someone from the first attempt then don’t be sad. Your efforts were not lost but it was stored in his subconscious mind.

The next time you talk to him about the same thing you will be resuming your work. Continue doing that gradually until you succeed in convincing the person with your beliefs.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it’s a boring online encyclopedia but it’s a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

10 tricks How to convince anyone to do anything?

Everyone has tactics for getting what he or she wants, but you don’t have to resort to unorthodox methods to get your way. The power of persuasion rests on getting people to do what you want willingly, resulting in a win-win scenario for everyone involved.

Here are 10 tricks to help you master the art of persuasion (which equals more money):

1. Start Things Off

People are more likely to be persuaded to complete a task if it’s already been started for them.  For example, on my “Brand Yourself” page, Bruce Deery was the first to brand or promote himself, which will make it easier for others to follow his lead.

2. Help People Imagine

Imagine how relieved you’ll be if you get the job done before going to bed? Don’t pass off tomorrow what you can do today. This tactic paints a vivid picture in the person’s mind of the pleasure if she/he does — or the pain if she/he doesn’t — do what they set to complete.

3. Stress Their Loss

This is huge with internet marketing. We’re more persuaded by the thought of losing something than the thought of gaining (i.e. “this product will never be released in the future, obtain it NOW”).

4. Give First

People are instinctively trained to return a favor. And, thus, think of doing the initial good deed as an investment (promote other people, give advice without asking for coaching fees, etc ) in turn, people will feel compelled to do things for you.

5. Over-ask

People feel a sense of guilt when they refuse a request. If the second request is something they can afford to comply with, then typically they’ll grab the opportunity (i.e. adding a pop up on your website when one decides to leave without purchasing your offer)

6. Make Them Laugh

If I can get you to laugh with me, you in turn like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can make you laugh at particular points I make, by laughing you acknowledge it as true. People generally laugh at things that identify with them. This backs the whole “Know – Like – Trust” theory!  

7. Use “We”

The use of “we” immediately conveys a sense of belonging, commonality, support and community. (i.e. we’ve worked through this before; we can work through it again)

8. Majority Rules

When persuading, point to evidence of what others are doing that is similar to what you are trying to persuade the other person to do.  For example, if promoting a product show feedback from others who have used the product and received stellar results (i.e. “Social Proof”).

9. Be Positive

People are more likely to be persuaded to behave in certain ways if they have acted that way before — and it has been noticed.  No one wants to work with negativity or pessimistic people, always convey an uplifting and encouraging demeanor.

10. Have Good Timing

Sometimes it’s not what you ask for but when you ask for it.. People are more persuaded immediately after thanking someone, and they are at their most persuasive after being thanked, so it’s the perfect time to ask for a favor

How to be a leader??

A profession is more than a job -- it is a community and a culture. Professions serve society by pooling knowledge among their members and creating incentives to synthesize new knowledge. They also help their members to build networks, find jobs, recruit staff, find collaborators, and organize around the issues that affect them. In a world without change or innovation, professions would not be so necessary. But in a world where change and innovation are ever more intense, every occupation needs more of the institutions and culture of traditional professions such as law, medicine, engineering, education, librarianship, public administration, business, and architecture.
Every profession has leaders. In a formal sense, the elected officers of a professional society are the leaders of that profession. Because a profession is fundamentally about knowledge, however, the true leaders of a profession are the thought leaders: the individuals who synthesize the thinking of the profession's members and articulate directions for the future. Sometimes a profession will elect its thought leaders to official positions. But often the thought leaders prefer to lead through writing and speaking, cutting-edge projects, conference organizing, and dialogue. Leadership means both talking and listening, both vision and consensus. A leader builds a web of relationships within the profession and articulates the themes that are emerging in the thinking of the profession as a whole.
In a knowledge-intensive world of ceaseless innovation and change, I assert, every professional must be a leader. This is not a universally popular idea. Some people say, "leadership is fine for others, but I just want a job". I want to argue that it doesn't work that way. The skills that the leader exercises in building a critical mass of opinion around emerging issues are the same skills that every professional needs to stay employed at all. In the old days the leadership-averse could hide out in bureaucracies. But as institutions are turned inside out by technology, globalization, and rising public and client expectations of every sort, the refuges are disappearing. Every professional's job is now the front lines, and the skills of leadership must become central to everyone's conception of themselves as a professional.
But how? It is well-known that simply declaring yourself a leader will not cause anyone to follow you. The process of becoming a leader doesn't happen overnight, but it is perfectly methodical. Here is a six-step recipe. Things aren't really this rigid in practice, but you'll have no trouble varying the recipe once you get used to it.
(1) Pick an issue. You need an issue that the profession as a whole is not really thinking about, but which is going to be the center of attention in five years. The issue could be technical, strategic, managerial, policy-related, or all of the above. It could be a problem or an opportunity or both. It could be a new method or a whole new area of practice. It should be fairly specific, though, and should directly address the day-to-day work of people in some segment of the profession. The word "technology", for example, is too big to be a workable issue. You can find an issue in several ways:

(a) Talk to dynamic practitioners and notice a pattern in what they are saying.(b) Talk to people at your school. One purpose of a professional school is to be the early-warning system for the profession -- the surveillance center where emerging issues are articulated, researched, and taught. Many issues that you take for granted as lecture and paper topics in your classes actually represent the farthest horizon so far as most practitioners are concerned. Who to talk to? Start with the people who are excited. They are excited because they have located a high-quality opportunity to do well by doing good.
(c) Talk to people in other professions to find issues that are going to be important for your profession. This could mean simply asking them what issues are important right now, or it could mean explaining the situation in your profession to them in detail and asking them to instruct you. For example, the people who first applied ideas from statistics to computer science became leaders, as did the people who first applied economic analysis to law. Alternatively, identify distinctive intellectual resources that you already bring with you, or that you are highly motivated to learn, and that people aren't really applying in your profession yet. Ransack your field to identify issues that you can transform by thinking about them in that way.
(d) Pick a topic within your profession that you would really hope to be working on someday, and read books and articles about that topic from a variety of other fields, professional and nonprofessional, even if they use different language for it. Be weirded out by the completely different coordinate systems that different fields use. Shake yourself loose from the accreted layers of presuppositions and assumptions that your profession has built up around the topic. Then set an agenda for reinventing that topic using language that people in your profession can understand.
(e) Redescribe one of your profession's existing functions in an abstract way, and then identify several other activities to which the same abstraction could be applied -- including activities that are currently performed by other professions. For example, library cataloguers are really specialists in "metadata services", and many other professions (e.g., publishing) are doing a bad job of things because they lack a serious professional understanding of metadata.
(f) Talk to the people who use your profession's products and services. And talk especially to the ones who are leaders in their own field, so that their situation helps you to predict the future of that field in general. How are their needs changing? What new needs will they have in five years? What are their values and long-term goals? What would it be like for your profession to be dramatically more useful to them? Is your profession really gearing up to maintain and expand its relevance? Now talk to them again. This time, tell them some of the surprising new ways in which your profession might be able to help them in the future, and invite them to think with you about how their own field might be improved as a result.
(g) Learn the arguments that your field's current leaders employ at budget time. Then devise some new arguments that the people with the money will understand. Use these arguments to start conversations with knowledgeable colleagues about what arguments the relevant people can in fact understand. Try to identify elements of their thinking that you hadn't previously known about. Then convert what is valid in their thinking into issues for the field. Once you stop thinking of the money people as opaque authorities, you will more readily notice opportunities to expand your profession.
(h) Assemble a group of ten other change-minded students in your school and spend two hours brainstorming at least a hundred new ways that your profession could provide people with useful products and services. Assume the technology of ten years from now. All of your ideas should be clear departures from past practice. Doing this in a group is useful because everyone's surprising ideas can help everyone else to think in original directions. Then whittle down your list to the few that are both radical and plausible.
(i) Draw on your own experience, values, and intellect to articulate an issue that nobody else is talking about. Maybe you are simply anticipating concerns that everybody else will be discovering independently in a few years, or maybe you are building something new that wouldn't have happened without you. In either case, if the issue is going to be important to your profession in five years, you'll be doing a public service by getting out in front of it.
(j) Cultivate your powers of being interested in things. Every time you succeed in becoming interested in something new, do three things: Google it, type it into the article indexes for your profession at the library Web site and read a few articles about it, and then have a conversation with someone who knows about it. A good way to convene such a conversation is, "I'd like you ask your advice". Do this for a year. Note that you are now interested in several important things that nobody else is thinking about. Assume that others in your generation will find them interesting once you explain them.
(k) Looking at your profession as it stands today, and perhaps by talking to some of its newer and more iconoclastic members, identify an aspect of current practice that is archaic. Pose the question of what the ideal reform would be.
(l) Write down all the difficulties that seem to recur in your experience of practicing your profession -- anything, however small, that often seems to go wrong. Or else become an anthropologist for a day, and hang out with some people -- students, immigrants, new customers, etc -- who are dealing with your profession for the first time. Experience consternation at the difficulties they run into. Collect a dozen difficulties. Then start making theories of what causes those difficulties. Big, pretentious theories are best, especially if they exaggerate how important the difficulties you've listed really are. Elaborate your theories in your notebook for a few more months until they are really grandiose. Then use the theories to start generating ideas for innovation and change in your profession. Many of your ideas will have advantages aside from fixing the difficulty that inspired them. Consult with dynamic people to determine which of these ideas (not the theories, obviously, but the ideas) might be plausible as issues for the long haul.
(m) Ask yourself, what is the big fashion in my profession right now, or in my specific area? Fashions usually edit reality, leaving out important issues that will come roaring back sooner or later. Don't be a reactionary by trying to roll back the current fashion to something that came before. Instead, identify those elements of the current fashion that are valuable, and articulate an agenda that remixes those elements with the elements that are being left out.
(n) Learn about a new family of technologies that will have great consequences for practice in your field once it becomes widely available. By a "family" I mean a broad category of technologies such as nanotechnology or grid computing around which new institutions of research and application are forming, rather than a single invention that may or may not build a critical mass of acceptance. In general, build yourself an intelligence system for learning what new research is in the pipeline, so that you can formulate the issues that will become important once the new methods become practical. If you're not interested in technologies, then try government policies instead. Government policies have an immense and generally non-obvious impact on society, thus creating opportunities for people who are aware of them. Keep yourself apprised, therefore, of the pipeline of new policies that fall even remotely within your field of competence, including seemingly small and obscure ones whose significance no one else recognizes, and identify the ones whose impacts are going to be issues for your field.
(o) Look at the history of your profession, identify a force that has been operating continuously to change how the profession works, and imagine what will happen as that force becomes even stronger in the future. A trend that senior practitioners have observed in the course of their careers, for example, usually reflects a force that can be expected to intensify. If the force is positive, spell out its consequences and the practical agenda they entail. If it is negative, issue a call to arms and define a viable alternative. If it is complicated, begin sorting the good from the bad.
(p) Look at the way that work in your profession is evolving, and see if a new "class" is emerging. This might happen, for example, if a new division of labor is creating a group of workers who have common interests that differ from the interests of people who are doing other parts of the work. If the new group hasn't yet developed a collective identity and collective institutions, then you can help by articulating the issues that affect them.
(q) Look at the different sorts of people who are entering the profession in contrast to twenty years ago. What interests, values, and concerns distinguish them from older generations? If you discover that senior and junior members of the profession regard quite different issues as important, and if the junior professionals' issues have not been properly studied, help articulate the agenda for the rising generation.
(r) Identify an issue that has arisen somewhat independently in different organizations or different countries, but where the relevant practitioners haven't yet formed themselves into a network, much less an interest group. More generally, discover two or more groups that ought to know one another but don't, and identify an issue around which the groups ought to be comparing notes.
(s) Identify an intellectual or political trend in the broader society that you generally agree with, and ask what its implications would be in the practice of your profession.
(t) Identify something that people in your field currently do in a haphazard way, perhaps because it is new. Put an impressive name on it, so that people interpret every example of it as particular species of some genus. Interview the people who are doing it, and make a list of issues that pools together everything they are thinking about when they do it. The result will be a theory that helps them to do it in a rational way. If your theory can be summarized in terms of a new idea, all the better.
(u) Work for a dynamic innovator -- that is, not someone who is famous for having dynamically innovated twenty years ago, but someone who is dynamically innovating right now. Learn how it is done. Then go out on your own. Suitable issues are really quite plentiful, and new ones will be easy to come up with once you once you start to understand the world in the way a dynamic innovator does.
(v) Collect people in your profession who have novel ideas. Combine their ideas with your own in novel ways.
(w) Analyze the processes by which people in your profession learn new things and use them to do their work better. Are these processes rational? What would better processes be like?
(x) Identify five important trends in the world in general, e.g., "China is becoming integrated with other countries" or "computers will be a thousand times more powerful within twenty years". What opportunities and challenges do these trends create for your profession?
(y) Ask yourself, what is the real purpose of my profession, or my particular subfield? What would be a completely different way to achieve that purpose? Brainstorm a list of twenty ways in which work in your profession can be changed to connect it more directly with its real purpose.
(z) Having done many of the exercises listed above, try to characterize your personal thinking style -- or, more precisely, your issue-discovering style. For example, you might discover best when immersed in a crowd of challenging people, or by trawling through large amounts of raw information, or by drawing diagrams. Then invent some methods that really amplify what works for you.

You will probably want to apply several of these methods, working back and forth between them until you have a clear picture of the issues that are emerging. Whenever you can articulate a candidate issue, ask people what counterarguments a tough audience would raise, then use them creatively to make your issue even better. Once you finally settle on an issue, put yourself in charge of raising the profession's awareness of it. If putting yourself in charge feels arrogant, that's just because you're not used to it. Focus on the issue and you'll be fine.(2) Having chosen your issue, start a project to study it. You might do this in the context of a term paper or an independent study, or you might organize it through the local student chapter of a professional association. Or you might simply do it on your own time. It's hard work, yes, but it's an investment. See if a local faculty member will sign on as an advisor to the project, and if you can use the faculty member's name in talking to people.
(3) Find relevant people and talk to them. First do your library work so you know any conventional wisdom that's out there. Then talk to some working professionals who are facing the issue, especially if they have spoken publicly about an aspect of it. You can find these people by asking the faculty in your school; it's their job to know everyone. If the faculty are reticent at first to unleash you on their contacts, then work your own contacts, for example through your fellow students or the professional society. You can also find relevant people by reading professional publications, attending conferences, and searching Web sites. Tell the people you seek out that your project is pulling together the profession's experience with the issue, and ask if you can interview them. Have a good, focused talk, make serious notes, ask if they want to keep anything confidential, give them your card, and promise to keep in touch. Why are they willing to talk to you? Because you're working on an important issue, and because you're associated with a professional school, which is a center of thinking and networking for the field. Use the symbolic power of the university while you're still associated with it.
(4) Pull together what you've heard. Nobody is expecting you to solve the problems. Real working professionals do have to solve problems, of course, but right now the emphasis is more on questions than answers. You will contribute simply by defining the whole scope of the problems that people are facing. Make a taxonomy and give examples. Talk about what people are doing to address the problems. Focus on practice: the actual decisions that working professionals will have to make, and the full range of considerations they will have to take into account. Most of these considerations will seem obvious taken in isolation, but many people will be grateful to have a complete list in front of them. Remember that professionals, no matter how creative and intuitive they are, have to justify their decisions in a rational way, giving reasons why they have made one choice rather than another. You'll do a service just by laying out the choices and reasons. Talk about the consequences people see for the future. Just impose some order. Faculty in your school can probably help you with this. Write clearly and concisely, and get someone who can write well to copyedit your work.
(5) Circulate the result. Send copies to the people who helped you. Call it a draft or interim report if you want. Give credit to the people whose ideas you've written down. Then follow up. Get further comments. Now write some short columns for professional publications. Describe your project and summarize the issue. Explain why the issue is becoming important. Concisely present the dangers and opportunities for the profession. Your goal is to lead: to present the profession with a valid issue that calls for action. Again, you don't need to specify what the right action is. You only need to give form to the issue. Make sure your published columns provide a permanent e-mail address where people can reach you, and ideally the URL for a Web page where you've collected materials related to the issue.
(6) Build on your work. Get invited to speak at meetings. Correspond with people who have contacted you after reading your work. Meet more people who appreciate the significance of the issue. If you hear about someone who is working on a similar issue, make friends. Show them that you've read their work, give them due credit, and explore how your projects complement one another. Expand your network to include your profession's clients and peers. As you take in everyone's perspectives, let your understanding of the issue grow and evolve. Come up with many honest ways of explaining the issue and clear answers to the standard questions you get asked. Don't try to convert people who don't get it. You may be a voice in the wilderness for a while, but keep building networks and synthesizing ideas. Your energetic and responsible approach will make you a magnet for intelligent people. As interest in the issue accelerates, build institutions around it. See if the people in your network want to start a moderated mailing list. Organize a panel discussion about it at a professional meeting. And so on. Keep going until the issue either matures or disappears. Then find another issue and start over.
That's the procedure. You should always have at least one issue that you are developing in this way. In doing so, you are helping the profession to think out loud about its problems and potentials, and you are also helping to knit the profession together by establishing connections among the people who are thinking about the issues on the horizon. You are also making yourself a strong job candidate. You are building knowledge, and you are building networks. One purpose of a professional school is to build such networks, and by helping you the school helps itself.
If you've spent your whole life going to school and toiling at normal jobs, then you might find the prospect of leadership nerve-wracking. Most schools and jobs are afraid of you, so they encourage a dependent attitude where you wait around for other people to give you things. Of course they don't entirely succeed; no institution can completely extinguish your human agency. Even so, few schools or jobs actively train their inmates to take the initiative by organizing people around emerging issues. Yet successful people have exercised leadership in this way for all of recorded history. The methods of leadership that I have described are not widely publicized, and many courses that supposedly teach leadership skills omit them entirely. But they are out there, roaring at full throttle just below the surface, and you can learn them by watching any successful person in action. I'm just hoping that by reading this you'll learn them a little faster.
As you advance in your profession, you will be organizing people in more sophisticated ways around more sophisticated issues. As such, it will be important to cultivate your intellectual life. Leadership is such a rare skill that it doesn't matter whether you are a genius in your own right. Leadership is process, and the whole point is that you're not figuring out all the answers yourself. Accordingly, you will need to build a brain trust -- smart and knowledgeable people that you can turn to when you need expert judgements. This is one reason to stay in touch with the faculty at your school, and with the smart people who pass through the school while you are there. Another good way to start a brain trust is to organize a speaker series. Fearlessly assess your intellectual strengths and weaknesses, and then make professional friends whose intellectual strengths complement your own. Your contribution is to facilitate a large-scale movement within the profession.
As you become a leader, you will also face ethical issues. Leadership has a bad name; people associate it with dishonesty, manipulation, and "politics". That's because so many "leaders" prefer to surf on issues, extracting the social energy around them for their own benefit, rather than being a positive and constructive force in the community. Once you've built a network and evolved some rhetoric, you can get away with a lot of selfishness. People will probably even praise you for it. You can settle down to a life of mutual back-scratching with your similarly-networked cronies, going through the motions and never giving a serious thought to the community again. But that's no good. Your job is to model positive leadership. You have no doubt heard it explained that true leadership is "selfless". I haven't emphasized that theme so far, for the simple reason that it's useless to demand that people be selfless leaders until they understand the six-step process that makes them leaders at all. Now that you do understand the process, and especially once you become accustomed to actually doing it, it's time to put some content into it. Use your connections to help people who deserve help. Promote all ideas that you find valuable, whether they reinforce your issues or not. Keep trying to understand your issues more deeply, and ask yourself whether the world is changing to make other issues more important. Don't be an ego freak. And write down what you learn along the way.
Why do I argue that the modern world requires all professionals to engage in leadership? Before the Internet, professionals had to be generalists. Problems would arise, and you had to solve them. Now, however, the institutions and infrastructures of your profession easily bring professional knowledge to bear wherever it is needed. To succeed in your career, you need more than the skills that you got in school -- you need to be the world expert in something. Knowledge is global, it's growing exponentially, and nobody can pack all of the necessary knowledge into their head. So everyone's going to specialize. Specialization doesn't mean narrowness: it means reaching out in many directions, talking to many kinds of people, and knitting together the elements that make your issue matter. "Leadership" used to mean something unique: the army had one leader and everyone else followed. Today, however, knowledge is multiplying so fast that we need more leaders than we can possibly produce. Every leader can feel important, and genuinely be important, and everyone is a leader, including you.

 HOW TO BE LEADER AT WORK?

Most organizations have at least one person who is a natural leader. When it is announced she will be leading a new team, employees line up to join. When he asks for a volunteer for an assignment, people jump at the chance. Employees turn to her as a mentor, or look to him as a role model.

Meanwhile, others in the organization are struggling to do their job with too few human resources. So how do natural leaders do it? What is their secret to getting people to go the extra mile for them?Although many effective leaders are naturally charismatic, there are a number of leadership behaviours that can be adopted by anyone who wants to have greater support from other people. While some leadership techniques may sound manipulative, a wise leader knows the best results come from having people provide their support willingly.

Leadership is the art of getting someone to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

People naturally want to follow a good leader. After meeting with an effective leader it is not unusual to feel uplifted, inspired and motivated to work towards a common goal. Effective leaders make others feel good about themselves as well as the work they are doing. The leader has a vision of what she wants to achieve and can communicate that vision to others in a way that makes people want to be part of it.
One thing a good leader typically does is to communicate the big picture, so that each employee can see how the particular role he plays makes a contribution to the final result. 
In a recent study of employees at all levels in companies of all sizes, Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans, authors of Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em, found that “meaningful work, making a difference and a contribution” was one of the top three reasons given by 90% of employees when asked why they remain at a company. (The other reasons cited among the top three were “career growth, learning and development” and “exciting work and challenge.”)
When someone understands why a job that might otherwise be considered menial is important, that person is likely to be both more committed and more productive.
People are also likely to follow leaders they see as positive role models. If a leader demonstrates a strong belief in something, it inspires others to work towards the leader’s vision, even when a situation might appear to be almost hopeless. An excellent example of a leader who faced this type of situation is Lee Iacocca. When Chrysler’s fortunes reached a low in the 1980s, he cut his salary to $1 per year to prove his conviction that things would get better. They did. Under his leadership, the company flourished.
Good leaders not only “walk the walk”, they “talk the talk”. When they speak about the future, they are positive and upbeat. Mark Victor Hansen, a successful motivational speaker and co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, said that even in the early days of his career, if someone asked how he was doing he always responded that he was doing fabulously. His enthusiasm won him plenty of supporters who helped make his vision a reality.
Yet some people feel the way to get support from others is by telling them how grim a situation is, hoping that will make them want to help turn things around. On the contrary, Eeyores (those who sound like the gloomy Winnie the Pooh character) may inspire people to start looking for another job, rather than work to improve the situation they are in.
If you have a tendency to be negative, but want to inspire others to support you in achieving a goal, resolve to focus on solutions rather than problems. If Plan A isn’t working, avoid bemoaning the situation and instead come up with a Plan B. If necessary, have Plan C waiting in the wings. Maintain a can-do attitude and you are likely to attract people who will support you in achieving your goals. 
As well as communicating their vision, good leaders know they need to communicate “what’s in it for you” in order to have employees go the extra mile. 
They also understand that different people are motivated by different things. For employees motivated by a need for achievement, a leader explains how the task offers an opportunity to take on a challenging but achievable goal. Those with a desire for power are told how their participation can bring them prestige and lead to greater opportunities. While employees who are motivated by affiliation need to hear how they will be part of a team of people working together.
Effective leaders also use techniques to communicate their belief that each team member is important, including remembering and using people’s preferred names (e.g. not "Rick" if someone prefers to be called "Richard"). As Dale Carnegie observed, “the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.” Keys to remembering names include paying attention when introduced to someone, mentally repeating the name and using it in conversation. 
Good leaders will introduce employees by name first, rather than job title. They refer to employees as team members, associates, or colleagues – never as "subordinates" – and make no distinction between "essential" and "non-essential" staff or "professional" and "non-professional" staff. Words have power, including the power to make people feel whether or not they are important to the success of an organization.
Good leaders believe that every team member matters and foster an environment that makes everyone feel important. It is no wonder they attract all the support they need to help them achieve their goals.