10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody's mind. It doesn't matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don't know exactly what you want to improve. You're acting intuitively on external signals.

Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.

1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.

2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.

3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.

4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.

5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.

7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.

8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice...

9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.

10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Next time you meet somebody new look out for these behaviors. Put a mental checkmark on the each of the 10 tips and see how well this person scored. Chances are that the person scored very high if you tent to like her/him. On the contraire the person probably scored low if you don't seem to connect.

The more you practice the more likely you will create a positive aura which is commonly known as charisma. To step up to become a charismatic personality it takes more than just these 10 tips.

Creating a positive aura will benefit you in every thing you do. You will create a warmer ambience with your family. You will be more successful in your career. Even while trying to meet a partner of the opposite sex you will notice a difference on how people perceive you.

Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".

How to raise your self esteem?

Self-esteem reflects a person's overall evaluation or perception of her or his own worth. Our self-esteem is very dependent on factors within our environment. Because one's unconscious accepts all incoming information or interaction as reality, regardless if information is factual, one's self-esteem is continuously fluctuating. A person can learn how to have good self esteem by learning how have a positive self perception. 

Instructions: 

Research on self-esteem indicates that there are three factors that strongly correlate with self-esteem. Each of the factors are separate but interrelated. It is helpful to understand these factors in order to learn how to raise self esteem.
The three factors are: Internal Locus of control-belief that we have control over outcome of situations (cause and effect); Sense of belonging and acceptance-how much one feels accepted by others; Sense of competence-belief that person is not only capable but successful in endeavors
To raise self esteem, begin with internal locus of control. This is the most vital step. A person must be able to understand that actions cause an outcome. If a person believes their actions will produce a result, this gives a sense of power. When a person believes they are capable of deriving a positive outcome, then it raises self esteem. If the outcome is positive, the person takes ownership of the success, thus raises self esteem.
Example: A person sets a goal of buying a bigger house. The person works hard and makes and saves enough money to obtain the house of their dreams. This reinforces the belief that the person had control of the outcome.
Therefore: To raise your self esteem, set a goal for change, develop a plan and make follow through on plan. Monitor your progress. Even small success will lift self esteem.
The next step is to understand that most humans desire a sense of belonging and acceptance by others. To raise self esteem, you must learn to accept and like yourself. It is important to accept that you may feel down at time and others may not be happy with your behavior or situation. Accept your situation for what it is and then look at the positives you have in your character. Say, "I am smart", "I am a good person" etc. Begin to live by your strengths and remind yourself daily of these positive attribute. In the end, others will see these strengths and comment on them as well. The more you believe in yourself, the more others will believe in you
Lastly: Sense of competence-belief that person is not only capable but successful in endeavors. Look at what you have already achieved. Now look at what you want to do and your plan (see steps listed above). Focus on past success to promote idea that success can happen again
Accept that at times you may feel low self esteem given different life situations. Self esteem is fluctuating. Since it does fluctuate, you can control its ability have high or low self esteem by the way you think about yourself and how you go about strengthening it.